Dear Busy Mom,
Take a deep breath – you deserve it. If your day so far has been a mix of packing lunches, hopping on Zoom meetings, finding that missing sneaker, and reheating your coffee for the third time, this letter is for you. We want to introduce you to someone who gets it: Amanda Goetz, a mom of three who has been exactly where you are, trying to do it all and feeling the strain. Amanda spent nearly a decade hustling in New York City as a marketing executive (all while having three kids!), then found herself starting a company from her garage during the pandemic as a newly single mom. She’s lived the chaos of “having it all” – and came out the other side with hard-won wisdom that can help every mom.
Who is Amanda? She’s a two-time startup founder and four-time Chief Marketing Officer who climbed the career ladder at places like The Knot and Ernst & Young. She’s also the creator of the Life’s a Game newsletter that reaches over 100,000 people, and the author of the upcoming book Toxic Grit: How to Have It All and Actually Love It. But most importantly, Amanda is a busy mom like us. She knows what it’s like to negotiate a big business deal at 3 PM and negotiate toddler bedtime at 8 PM. After years of walking the tightrope between success and sanity, she’s now on a mission to help other moms find a healthier way to pursue their ambitions without burning out.
What does Amanda stand for? In a nutshell: redefining ambition on our terms. One of her core messages is that work-life balance as we know it is a myth. Amanda encourages moms to stop trying to give 100% to everything at once – an impossible standard that just leads to guilt and exhaustion. Instead, she preaches intentional imbalance: focusing on what needs your attention in the moment and trusting that over time, each of your priorities will get its turn. Picture your life as a stove with only so many front burners, she says. Some days your career, a project, or even you (yes, you’re allowed to put yourself first!) will be on a front burner, getting the high heat. Meanwhile, other pots simmer on the back. Later, you can rotate, move another pot to the front when it matters most. The magic here is giving yourself permission to be fully present with the task or role at hand, rather than feeling like you’re failing everything at once. It’s a relief to realize you can be an awesome mom today and a badass boss tomorrow, and it all balances out in the long run.
Amanda also believes we need to ditch the mommy label wars. Stay-at-home mom, working mom. Both are valid choices, and neither defines your worth. In fact, many women will be each at different times. Amanda wants us to support each other instead of falling for the false “binary” that says you’re either a devoted mother or a dedicated career woman. She often cites how common it is for women to step back or step up in their careers depending on their season of life. Her point? You write your own script. Don’t let anyone guilt you for choosing the path that’s right for you and your family, and extend that grace to other moms making their own choices. We’re all on the same team, and we all feel the pressure.
What makes Amanda such a great resource for moms is that her advice is heartfelt and practical. She’s not interested in fluffy platitudes; she backs up her insights with personal stories and research. For example, in Toxic Grit she introduces a framework called Character Theory – the idea that each of us has multiple “characters” (like the Inner CEO, the Caregiver, the Soloist who hates asking for help, etc.) competing for center stage. Trying to be all of them at once is a recipe for burnout. Her book helps you identify your main characters and give each one its time to shine, rather than letting them trip each other up. One of Amanda’s go-to tools is the “ART of transitions” – a three-step routine for switching gears between your roles without losing your mind. It works like this:
-
Assess (A): Pause for a moment. Ask yourself, “Who do I need to be next?” Are you about to go from work mode to mom mode, or from parent duty to time with your partner? Recognize the shift that’s coming.
-
Routine (R): Do a quick ritual to get in the right headspace. It could be changing into comfy clothes, blasting your favorite pump-up song in the car, or taking a brief walk around the block. These cues signal your brain that it’s time to transition.
-
Transition (T): Actually name the role you’re stepping into. Say out loud, “Okay, it’s storytime mom now,” or “CEO hat on.” It might feel silly at first, but this simple step helps you mentally leave the last role behind and fully show up for the next one.
This little ART method is a game-changer. It helps you avoid that frazzled feeling of replying to work emails with one hand while stirring tonight’s pasta with the other. Instead, you create a clear boundary as you move from one part of your life to another. And guess what? It means you can be where you are—at work, at home, wherever—and actually enjoy it more.
Lastly, Amanda is big on something we often forget in the juggle of jobs and kids: joy. She’ll be the first to tell you that ambition is not just about striving and achieving—it’s also about loving the life you’re building. That means giving yourself permission to have fun, to rest, and to savor the little moments (like that blissful silence when the kids finally fall asleep, or the pride of hitting “send” on a project you’ve poured your heart into). In her words, losing yourself isn’t a prerequisite for success. You can aim high and still feel good day-to-day.
We hope Amanda’s approach inspires you as much as it has inspired us. Being a mom and pursuing your goals don’t have to be opposing forces. With mentors like Amanda lighting the way, we’re learning that we can have it all—on our own terms. You deserve to define what “all” means to you and to actually enjoy getting there. So go ahead, build that business or ace that promotion, and rock the school pickup line. Be fiercely ambitious, and fiercely proud of the mom you are—there’s no binary to box you in.
From one busy mom to another... You’ve got this!
XO, The momAgenda
(And if you’re as excited as we are about Amanda’s insights, be sure to check out her new book Toxic Grit for a deeper dive into her ten-character framework and more real-world tools for ambitious moms. It’s available for pre-order now – a perfect gift to your future self!)
