Honey, Please Do...

Honey, Please Do...

The following is a guest post from momAgendaCOMM blogger Kim-Marie Evans.


As the busy mom of four even busier kids, I’ve had many fights with my husband about who works harder. He thinks that working on Wall Street is much more challenging than my day. He is so wrong. You know it, I know it, and now he’s learning it.

He took a job with a new firm this summer so the rules from his old firm say he has to take a multi-month “gardening leave” before he can start his new job. He gets paid, but he’s not allowed to work.

Silly man, he thought this would be his chance to take his golf game to the “next level” and some nonsense about triathlons.

He didn’t know that I had other plans for him. There’s nothing in his contract that says he can’t drive carpool while he’s on gardening leave.

Is it wrong that I delighted in the look on his face when I explained that his “Honey, Please Do” list now includes sitting outside the middle school at 5:00am in the dark next week to get our daughter a bus pass?

I wish I were making that up.

But it’s true.

We line up like groupies looking for tickets to a Bruce Springsteen concert; only all we get is the opportunity to pay for our child to take the bus every day. I’ve done this miserable task alone for the last two years. He didn’t share my joy at realizing that this year, he would be the lucky one to trudge out in the dark to sit on the concrete stairs with the other miserable parents.

He actually whimpered, “I just want to go back to work.”

Oh really?

I’d like to go to an office where people respect me, don’t expect me to wipe their butts and don’t slam doors in my face, too.

I’d like to sit in meetings and discuss issues that are more cerebral than who will run the raffle at this year’s pumpkin fundraiser.

I’d like to fly first class, alone, in fancy clothes and complain, “I’m just working so hard”

He has two more months before he can go back to the land of assistants and catered lunches. Until then, the Honey, Please Do list is growing.

So far he’s learned:

*You cannot make a child move faster by screaming at them.

*The location (and name) of our children’s pediatrician. And no, you cannot sue them for making you wait an hour for your appointment.

*You are allowed to drive your teenage daughter and her friend’s places but you are NOT allowed to talk to them.

*The back to school paperwork IS endless and ridiculous. No it’s not online, yes they all need to be filled out in triplicate. Pipe down and just keep writing. Really, you don’t know how much they weigh???

*Yes, we do spend that much money on food. Every day. No, they cannot “eat less.”

Now if only I could get him a bikini wax and a pap smear. He would never think my job is “so easy” ever again.

The Honey, Please Do notepads are available on the momAgenda website. Willing husband not included.

Kim-Marie Evans is a member of the Council of Media Moms at momAgenda. She is a lifestyle blogger who writes about motherhood and travel on her personal blog The Luxury Travel Mom. You can always find her on Twitter.